


Requited

by Freelance_Magic



Series: If a 6 foot tall dog man and tiny violent rabbit gremiln pined for each other would that be gay or what? [3]
Category: Sam & Max
Genre: Body Image, Dancing, Date Night, Flirting, Fluff, Gay, Holding Hands, M/M, Slow Dancing, Telling people you got together, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-07 18:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18878869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freelance_Magic/pseuds/Freelance_Magic
Summary: Now that Sam and Max have confessed their feelings and are no longer dancing around each other like panicking gay chickens, there are now new stories to tell, ones of shameless flirting, innuendos and affection galore!





	1. To show off your ex-best friend

“Are you sure you wanna do this, Max?” Sam said as he folded another card. “Yeah, Sam! How many chances does a guy get to show off his hot new ex-friend!” I exclaim. “I wish you’d call me something other than that, people might get the wrong idea, bone head.” Sam sighed out. I smile. “Fine. Whatever you want, boytoy.” I say with a mischievous tone. Sam goes a little red. “Whatever you say, size queen.” He says with the most steady voice. “Oh Sammy, you know me too well!” I giggle out flamboyantly. Sam folds another card. “You know, we could just call our family and friends to tell them about us taking things to the next level?” Sam asked rhetorically. I stamp down on a card with a stamp (that I made) that reads “We are making out now” with stick figures of us holding hands with little hearts around us. “Yeah, but this is way funner! Think of all the gay panic our less than accepting relatives will experience when they get ‘em!” I beam at Sam. “Honestly, that’s sounds pretty good. No more existing near my gross cousin, Nutmeg!” Suddenly, knocking could be heard.  
“Holy unlucky jinx repellent spray, Max! Who could that be at this hour?” Sam exclaimed in surprise. “I don’t know but I GOT IT, I GOT IT!” I scream as I gallop to the door on all fours like a majestic steed. I throw open the door and I’m greeted by the sight of Sybil holding flowers and two boxes. “Oh that’s really sweet, Sybil honey, but I’m already spoken for!” I joke. “Oh No! My heart! I know, Max. That’s why I’m here with fake flowers and yours and Sam’s favorite treats.” She snarked. “Wait? How do you know?” Sam said as he walked up behind me. “Yeah! I didn’t think Sam was THAT loud!” I add. “Quiet, bonehead.” “It was the weird T.V stunt you guys pulled. I thought that was how you were telling people?” Sybil answered, confused at our confusion. TV stunt? What does she mean “TV stunt?” “O-oh! Umm…” Sam knows something I don’t? “Sam?” I question. Sam looks at me with a red face. “Remember how I saw your… thoughts and fantasies?” “Yeah?” Sam seems worried. “Well… when I was messing with the controls it brought up a “broadcast range” map…” “And?” “I think that means that the machine broadcasted what I saw you doing, on TV, to the public.” Sam finishes. “Oh is that all?” I say nonchalantly. “Yeah, it was the cutest and most romantic thing I’ve seen in awhile!” Sybil stated, reminding us of her presence. So people saw me giving Sam that massage? “So how many people saw my amazing massage skills?” I wonder out loud. “Well, from what I remember, it broadcasted to the upper half of the east coast.” Sam answered. “Does this make our cards redundant?” I say annoyed at the possibility of a perfectly good gay idea gone down the drain. “ We have family that lives else were, Max.” Sam reminds me, like the perfect man that he is. Oh good the cards are still on then! “You are taking the fact that a ton of people saw you naked really well, Sam.” Sybil said with a proud tint to her voice. Sam went a worrying shade of burgundy. “I-I didn’t even think about that!” Sam looks like he wants to curl into a ball on floor. “Well, it’s a good thing your sexy as hell, Sam!” I try. “I mean, I’m a little mad because I want your body to be for my eyes only but I guess I’ll allow the world to be graced by your perfect ass, just this once!” I finish. Sam has now resorted to hiding his face in his hands. “Right in front of her? Really, Max?” Sam said beyond embarrassed at this point. “Wow, this is peak romance right here.” Sybil said, a little amazed. “Take notes, hun.” I say with a flick of my wrist. I approach Sam who is now on the floor with his hands still in his face. I reach for his hands and move them away from his hot face( hot as in both attractive and high in temperature). “There’s my handsome boy.” I speak softly, as to not alarm him. I see Sam get a dorkey little smile on his face. “You don’t have to be so sweet, you know.” Sam said. “I know.” I say as I reach to touch the side of his face. “But I want to.” I finish as I move closer so our noises are touching. I begin to pet the side of his face, Sam leans into the touch like it’s he’s been waiting years to be crested. “Wow, um. Should I go or?” Oh right. We forgot that Sybil was here again! “S-sorry, Sybil! Thanks for the gifts! Um…?” Sam spoke, clearly lost for words at the moment. Sybil rolls her eyes and smiles. “I’ll just be taking my leave now, have fun lovebirds!” She laughed as she walked out the door. “Wow, is she blind? We are a dog and rabbit-lagomorph… not birds!” Sam looks at me with a blank look. “Kiss me now or we go back to working on the cards.” Sam said with the most serious voice. He doesn’t have to tell me twice!


	2. Body Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam’s having issues with his body again. Max sees to rectify that!

It seems to be one of those days again. I sigh as I look at myself in the mirror. I really need to lay off the sweets, again. I grab my stomach, I wish I wasn’t so… big. I mean, despite what others might think I do try and exercise when I can ( and our missions often times involve running or other exercise on top of that). I also try to eat healthy foods when I can ( it’s kind of crazy how expensive veggies can be). But I never seem to lose weight! A wave of comfortable feelings hit me again. I feel out of place in my skin, please, just let it stop. “Admiring yourself in the mirror?” Max says walking into the bathroom. My ears fly up in surprise. “O-oh, Max!” I feel uncomfortable with anyone seeing me without a shirt on at the moment, not even Max. I reach for a button up that is hung up on a hook. “Aww! I wanted to ogle you!” Max exclaimed, disappointed. “Hey, you don’t wanna look at me. It’s not a pretty sight!” I try and joke. Max gives me a look. “Don’t.” He says in a warning tone. What? Why is he mad? “What do you mean  _ “don’t” _ ” I ask, confused and worried. “Don’t say that about yourself!” Max yelled, clearly upset. “Little bud-” Max cuts me off by climbing up my body to meet me in the eyes. “I hate it when people say those mean things about you, but at least I can beat those meat bags into a fine pulp! When you say those things about yourself, it’s beyond frustrating. I can’t just beat you up until you feel good about yourself, as much as I wanna smack you upside the head for being so blind.” Max explained. “Blind?” I ask confused as to what he means. “Yeah! How can you not see that you are built like a lagomorphs wet dream?! I call you sexy all the time now that we got together! How have you not realized that I’m sexually attracted to you?!” Max asks me like it’s most obvious thing ever. “I don’t know? I just kinda assumed it was a more mind over matter sort of scenario?” I answer, unsure of myself. “OK, look.” Max turns my head towards the mirror. “You see that man?” He asks. “Of course, Max.” “I wanna explore that man's entire beautiful body, multiple times, some of those time being with just my mouth. Do I make myself clear to you, Sam?” Max asked once again, staring into my eyes with a extremely intense look. “But it might not be healthy?” Max rolls his eyes at my answer. “Sam, babe, you know that between the two of us you are the one that actually will consume veggies on a semi-regular basis. Your also the one that actually tries to do some exercise outside of work on occasion as well. Need I go on?” Max says like he been trying to explain the simplest concept to me. “No…” I say. Max expression softens a little. “Sam, if you are ever feeling this way again, please talk to me.” Max gets a mischievous look. “After all, it’s my job to remind my dumb stud of a boyfriend that he’s a hot piece of meat and I’m a starving carnivore!” He giggles as he starts to kiss my neck. “A-ah, Max! N-no ,stop that- HA! Hoo! Tickles!” I laugh out as Max kisses my neck with overly loud  _ “Mmah!”  _ noises. “Admit that your beautiful!” Max said in between kisses. “AH! HA! O-ok, I-I’m B- HA! Beautiful!” I struggle out. Max stops his attack of kisses and hops down to the floor. “Good, glad your seeing things from my point of view now.” Max said as he begins to walk away. “What did you do, Max?” I ask. “Huh?” Max said, seemingly confused (and maybe just a bit guilty). “Max…” I warn. “Ok, ok, so I came in here to tell you I broke a window.” Max confessed. “And?” I urge him to continue. “It was the neighbor's window.” He finished. “So why are you telling me this? Did they know it was you?” I ask. “Oh, no. They don’t know who it was. I was coming to brag about it.” He said with a happy smile. “Oh, good. I don’t know how we could afford to fix their windows at the time being.” I say relieved. “I sure we would figure something out.” Max said seemingly not worried about the pointed financial loss. I smile. “I probably would have to join my sisters of the night, letting strange men use my body in unspeakable and definitely not at all family friendly ways.” I tease. Max has a look of mock horror on his face. “OH NO! I went too far! Sam p-please don’t let those gross and creepy men touch you!” He with a false panic. Suddenly he seems to get an idea. “You could go into stripping instead!” He shouted, like I’m actually going to do these things. “Sure,sure whatever you say, little buddy.” I say with a content smile. “You know… on the topic of stripping… if you wanted to walk around naked I would be tots cool with that.” Max said eyeing me up and down. “I’ll consider it.” Max does a double take. “Wait, really?” I shrug. Max starts to giggle and covers his mouth. Max then runs and I hear him sing, “Sam’s gonna be naked, Sam’s gonna be naked~” I shake my head, like I’d do that right now. I glance back at the mirror. Huh. I don’t feel as bad as I did before. Maybe I should talk to him if I ever get down again. After all, it IS his job to remind me, his dumb stud of a boyfriend, is in fact, beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Sam: I’m not attractive  
> Max: No. Wrong. Incorrect. Invalid. Nope. 
> 
> Thanks for reading Chapter two of this gay series.


	3. Dance with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max has a surprise for Sam

“Yeah, I never had any luck when it comes to events that involve dancing.” Sam admitted. We had gotten onto the topic of prom somehow. “Prom for me was just sitting in the corner, waiting for you to come back from wherever you went.” Sam confessed. “Wow, that’s gay, Sam.” Sam looks at me with a smile. “If you think that’s gay then need I remind you that I brought you to my aunt’s wedding as my plus one?” He asks. “I remember that! But what about that is necessarily gay?” I ask, needing clarification. Sam looks away with a little blush and smiles. “I wanted to dance with you.” He confesses. “Aww! That’s super sweet, Sam!” I exclaim, touched. Sam then looks away with a bit of pain on his face. “But if you remember how that night went… then you’d remember how I was booed off the dance floor.” Now that think about it, I do remember that! I also remember biting one of the jerks booing him, good work, past me. “Those jerks wouldn't recognize true style if it bit them, Sam.” Sam has a sad smile. “They are right though. I’m not a great dancer.” Sam shakes his head. “Hey, let’s drop the subject like the stock market in the year 1929. It got a little depressing for a second there, little buddy.” I almost object to that. But I decide for Sam’s sake I will let it drop. Besides, I have a idea stirring in my head anyways. 

 

“Thanks for helping me get the stuff, Sybil.” I say as I put the last box down. “Hey what are snark buddies for?” She says with a shrug. “Having snarky conversions.” I snark. She rolls her eyes. “So how did you get Sam to go out without you?” She asked. I get a cheeky grin. “Oh, that? It was pretty simple, all I did was break the freezers at the local supermarket. Now they are having a clearance sale for all frozen goods, Which includes popsicles and other frozen treats!” I explain. “Wow. So  how did you get out of going?” I point to the bathroom. “I told him I needed fill the tub with ice so we can have more stuff.” I answer. I think back to me explaining to Sam why I would be staying home. “He looked at me like a soft serve cone when I told him my idea for more storage.” I sigh wistfully. “Daw! Anyways, are you sure you can take over from here, short stuff?” Sybil asked. “Yeah, yeah I got this.” I wave her off. “Well, if you’re sure, then I got a date with some cheap frozen goods.” She says as she struts towards the door. “My gift to you.” I say as she opens the door. “Tell me how it goes later, Max!” She bids as she makes her grand exit. Well there's no time to waste! Time to do this thing!

 

And, finished! Setting up the decorations, compete. Cheap beer, resting on a few feet away. Music, chosen and ready to go. Now all I need is- “I’m back, Max!” Sam announces. Ah, theirs the man of the hour. I hear Sam putting things the the freezer, then after a minute of that I hear him go into the bathroom, guess he really bought a lot. “Max, you would not believe the sales that they were having!” Sam said excitedly from the bathroom. “Oh really? How good?” I ask loudly from where I’m standing. “All the frozen goods were eighty to ninety-nine percent off!” He calls back. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that much. Oh well, Sam seems happy so whatever. “Hey, Sam? Can you come in here?” I yell. “Just a minute, little buddy!” I hear more ice moving around from the bathroom and the sounds of Sam getting up. “So what did you-?” Sam said as he walked into the room where I’m standing. “Max? What’s with the decor?” He asks. “Remember when we were talking about prom and we got onto the topic about how events that involve dancing haven’t gone well for you?” I ask. “Yeah?” Sam replies. “Well, I figured it was about time you had a time were you could break it down without anxiety or judgement.” I answer. Sam seems a little confused. “What I’m trying to say is… will you dance with me?” I say as I offer my hand. Sam goes to reach for my hand, then he hesitates. “I don’t know…” He says, unsure. “I’ll be dancing with you, it’s just us.” I reassure. Sam takes a deep breath looks down at me.”Ok, I’ll dance with you.” Sam answers. “OK then, let’s do this!” 

 

I waddle over to the speakers I have set up and pick the first song. Sybil actually recommend it. A fun, upbeat dance jam to get into the groove of things. I hit play and the song starts. It’s a little awkward at first, given that the song starts a little slow but I start to move my body slowly to match the song. But then pretty quickly the song picks up and I start to really get into it. I hop around and clench and unclench my hand as a move. I look over to Sam whos kinda awkwardly shuffling around with his arms close to him. Sam and my eyes met, I wink at him and start to move my body from side to side with my arms in the air going the opposite direction of my torso. Sam seems to be encouraged because he starts to loosen up. His shuffling becomes more flowy and his arms are now flowing along without being attached to his chest. And then Sam does something completely unexpected, he changed the way he was dancing. He shot his arm into the air with his finger up, his hips are moving back and forth with a fluidity that I didn’t realize that Sam of capable of. We continue to groove for the rest of the song. When the song finishes up I stop the next song from playing for now. “I had no idea you could dance like that!” I praise. Sam goes a little red, though it’s tough to say if that isn’t from the dancing. “M-me neitner to be honest. It’s just that, when you winked at me, I felt good. Really good, and I wanted to impress you and flirt back and the music got to me so…” Sam tries to explain. “Well, whatever that was, it was sexy as hell!” I flirt. Sam giggles cutely. “Do you think the next song could be a bit slower?” He requested. “Sure, I only picked two songs and the other song is slow.” 

 

After getting something to drink I hit play on the next song. It’s rather slow, I wonder how we are gonna-! Sam pick me up and holds me close. I see, slow dancing it is!  _ I hear your ha-heartbeat to the beat of the drums.  _ The lady singing the song sings as Sam begins to slowly step around. “I love you.” Sam says softly.  _ Let’s make the most of tonight like we’re gonna die young.  _ “I love you too.” I respond back, just as softy. Sam counties to step around the room with me in his arms. “Thank you, little buddy.” Sam says suddenly. “Huh? For what?” I ask. “For being in my life.” Sam answers. “That’s so cheesy, Sam.” “I know.” “...Thanks for being in mine too.” I thank. “My pleasure.” Sam answers. “I don’t think life would have been very fulfilling if you weren’t with me.” I confess. “I think I would of ended up very sad and lonely if you didn’t exist, Max.” Sam states.  _ So while your here in my arms let's make the most of tonight like we're gonna die young.  _ Sam does a little twirl. I wriggle to face Sam. We stare into each others eyes. There is a dip in the song. We fill it with a kiss. The music swells with the feeling of the kiss. Sam spins us around as we are like this. We spend the rest of the song like this, unable to remove ourselves from the other. The song ends. “This whole thing has been very sweet of you, Max.” Sam looks around the room. “How did you plan this?” He asks. “Got Sybil to help me get the stuff together, I broke the freezers at the store so there would be a sale that you just had to go to.” I answer. “How very  _ “Max” _ of you.” Sam says with a smile. I respond with a kiss. We don’t separate that night. 

  
After dancing we were too tired to do much else so we went to bed, as I fell asleep in Sams arms I had the greatest idea.  _ One day, I’m gonna marry this dork.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Sam:I can’t dance. :(  
> Max: Bet  
> Sam: Shit you right. :)
> 
>  
> 
> This got really emotional near the end. My throat got a little tight actually! Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed! 
> 
> The songs were: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XFudmaObLI ( Fast song)  
>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgXtXrAIP7I (Slow song)


	4. Ring A Ling ding, here comes something a gay-bing!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Max get a mission]

It’s a slow day again, Max is practically itching for some action, and I mean like literally scratching, like a bird or cat. “UGH! Max- I mean, Sam! I’m so bored! When’s the commissioner’s gonna ring us up?” He asks, clearly craving some action. “I don’t know, little buddy. The commissioner works in mysterious ways.” I say while moving my arms in a way that makes me seem mystical. “Well, can he hurry the hell-” The phone ringing cuts Max off like a bartender cutting off a overly inebriated piece of rope. “I GOT IT! I GOT IT!” Max and I both scream as we race for the phone. Max attempts to do some sort of three part jump-flop technique and almost reaches the phone. Luckily, do to being a six foot tall man I’m able to catch Max and pin him to the wall as I answer the phone. “Hello, Freelance Police. Yes… uh-huh. NO! She did not! What did you say to that?! And then she said what? Wow! OK! We are on the case!” I say as I slam the phone back down onto the receiver. I look over to Max to tell him that we got a mission, but then I see that he’s got his arms crossed and a cute pout. “So, what did the commissioner say?” Max asks, a little annoyed that he didn’t get to answer the phone. It’s only made more adorable by the fact that I have him pin to the wall still. I get a idea. “Well…” I start. As I speak I move myself closer to Max. “It’s just awful Max, there's a unexplainable weather machine going off somewhere down the east coast.” I say, lowering my voice. Max seems to be confused as to what I’m doing. “There's random bursts of cold, cats and dogs, hail, thunder, lighting and of course, heat.” I continue. Max’s heart is beating faster. “Whoa, Sam! What you?” Max asks confused. I close most of the distance between us, our mouths only centimeters apart. “It’s gonna be… dangerous.” I finish. Max breathes heavily. “I like danger.” He replies in a breathy voice. “Then let's get goin’!” I say letting Max drop and returning to my usual speaking voice. “Wait, what?!” Max ask clearly caught off guard. I turn and smile like I’m completely innocent. “We gotta stop that machine, Max!” I urge. “But-!” Max starts to protest. “The sooner we stop this machine, the sooner we can get back to… other things.” I say, dropping my voice again. I blink and suddenly Max is no longer visible. Huh? Where did Max go? I hear a car horn outside. “LET GO ALREADY!” I hear Max yell. I smile as I walk out of the office, Max’s not the only one capable of  _ “teasing.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Max: >:/ I wanted to answer the phone…  
> Sam: Wanna make out…?  
> Max: Hell yes-  
> Sam: When we get back? ;)  
> Max: *Confused gay screaming*
> 
> RIP MAX. Never stood a chance.


	5. Sweaty Palms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the grocery store

“So we need, eggs, cheap beer, milk, some sort of vegetable and… anything else, little buddy?” Sam asks me as we walk into the supermarket. I think for a moment. “Nothing I can think of, babe.” I say nonchalant. Sam blushes at my use of the name,  _ “Babe.” _ “Well, if you’re sure, then this should be an easy trip.” Sam then looks forward at the sea of people in the store. “Or not?” He says, a little unnerved by the comedic amount of people in the store. “Ok, this time it wasn’t me.” I say as I point to a poster on the wall.  _ All produce 50% off!  _ “Well that explains the crowd at least.” Sam says as he puts his hand to his chin. “Um, Max?” He asks. “What’s up, doc?” I reply back. “I don’t want us to get separated in this crowd, it would probably take awhile to find each other again. So maybe… we should hold hands.” He trails off, looking away with a blush. I giggle. “Sam, are you trying to ask me to hold your hand?” I ask. “Maybe…?” Sam answers shyly. I take his hand into mine. “Wow, you nervous, your hands are a bit sweaty.” I point out. “O-oh here lets just-” “I’m not letting go, Sam.” Sam smiles. “If you insist.” 

 

It ended up being a good idea to hold hands because this crowd is… crowded? I guess fifty percent off produce brings out people's inner shopaholic, I can’t believe I just thought of the word  _ “Shopaholic” ,  _ yuck. This quick shopping trip has turned into a slog thanks to all these people. So far all we were able to get are the eggs. “Hey, Sam?”  “Yeah, little buddy?” “This sucks.” Sam lets out a sigh. “I know.” He responds, clearly as bored and fed up as I am. “Maybe we should split and get this over with faster.” I offer. Sam gets a pained look. “But… I wanted to hold hands.” He wines out a little. AH! My heart! “Well, as cute as that is Sam we are gonna have to at this point.” I say, devisated on the inside. Sam looks very disappointed. “I’ll let you wrap one arm around me on the drive home.” I try, hoping the prospect of car cuddles makes him less sad because sad Sam is awful and a crime, and not the cool kind. “Ok… I guess.”  I kiss Sam’s hand like a knight kissing his fair maiden. “We’ll meet back at the car.” We then let go of each other and go to get this stupid thing over with.

 

After getting the horrible cheap beer and milk I take a turn down a surprisingly empty aisle. That was horrible, people were everywhere and kept bumping me! And worse of all my boyfriend is nowhere in sight! I look at my surroundings. Oh, I’m in the pet aisle. I peer down the end of aisle and see the registers. As I being to trek down to salvation something catches my attention. Dog collars, in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors. I think about Sam in one of these. It’s adorable really, just him with a dorky smile wearing a collar, imagine if I also got a tag for it, with his name and my contact info! Then, of course my train of thought takes a bit of a  _ different  _ turn. I shake my head, of course I won’t do that. It would be cute yes and he might like it and how much are they? I can afford them. Okay. Let’s just calm down and what color would look best on Sam? My three favorite of these are the green one, the red one, and the black one with spikes. Black with spikes is more my style so that's a no. The green isn’t the best shade of green. So that leaves….

 

After paying for the goods, I finally make my way back to the car. I open up the door and hop in. “What took you so long, little buddy?” Sam asks I shrug. “Crazy shoppin’ moms, Sam. They are out for blood!” Sam wraps a arm around me a brings me close. “I remember being promised car ride cuddles?” Sam reminds me. “Of course! Warm me up, space heater!” I say with a grin. “I love your cute pet names, Hun.” “Trying out new pet names I see!” I say as I snuggle closer. The red of the collar catches my attention. I push it deeper inside the bag it’s in. That can wait for later. For now I just wanna snuggle up to my warm boyfriend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL:DR  
> Sam: Hold on to me  
> Max: This is the gay shit I’ve been waiting for
> 
>  
> 
> Wow Max. Just. Wow.


	6. Pardon the interruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sybil goes to visit Sam and Max, she may of interrupted something

Sam and Max should really get some cell phones. I mean, how else am I going sass Max without having to trek all the way to their place? Carrier pigeons? Actually that's pretty aesthetic now that I think about it. OH! New job idea~! Instant messaging network but with pigeons, it’d be a hit with hipsters and doomsday preppers alike! Anyways I need to sass Max about not contacting me and giving me those _ “juicy details”  _ regarding the dance with Sam. I approached the door to the abode. I ring the doorbell and wait, I hear what sound like someone rushing around. And it not Max’s galloping. 

 

The door opens and I’m greeted by the sight of Sam. “O-oh, u-um, h-hey, Sybil!” Sam putters out. “Hey, Sam. Max around? He said we would talk after you guys had that dance.” I ask. “Oh! Um…? He can’t come to the door right now?” Sam says, a little unsure. I look at Sam who seems to be wanting to get out of this conversation. “Did I interrupt something you were doing Sam?” I ask. “Oh, I was just doing... stuff and things!” Sam rushes out. “I’M STUFF AND THINGS~!!!” I hear Max yell out in a flirtatious tone. Sam suddenly goes scarlet. Wha…? I take a look at what Sam's wearing, it looks like he thrown on these clothes in a rush, his shirt isn’t buttoned up properly and half tucked in his pants. Sam’s fur on his neck seems particularly scuffed up and… is that a  _ collar _ ? Sam can no longer look me in the face. What is-? Oh. OH. OH! OOOHHH!  **_OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!_ ** I just-! I just interrupted-! They were just having-!  Oh my god! HOO BOY! 

 

“Oh.” Is all I can manage as a intelligent response to this situation. “D-do you think you could…?” Sam starts. “I’ll… just be taking my leave now.” I say to spare Sam and I anymore awkwardness. “A-alright!” Sam says with a lot of stiffness. “Ok, so um… tell Max to call me to come over or something and… yeah.” I say as I turn around. I take one step forward and turn around. “Oh! And Sam?” Sam stops closing the door. “Yes?” I get a mischievous smirk. “Be sure to use protection~!” I say in a singsong tone. Sam jaw drops. “Um… yeah I wil-” “DON’T WORRY SYB! I’VE BEEN USING PROTECTION ON HIM!” Max yells out again. Sam gets a look of pure mortification. We stare at each other for a couple of seconds, not knowing what to say.Oh, I got it! Be witty! I wink at Sam. “Don’t do anything I wouldn't do!” I tease. “Like keeping to a single career path?!” He blurted as he slammed the door. 

 

Ok, wow. Sam just totally called me out. To be fair, I kind of deserved it for teasing him. Honestly, in retrospect, I should've tried calling first. I mean they are a couple now, and couples… do things. I mean, I was a couples concealer at one point, I should know this! As I begin to walk away I can’t help but start to laugh! What even was that? Poor Sam's not gonna be able to look me in the eyes after this! And Max… he better tell me the juicy details!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Sybil: Max had some tea, where he at?  
> Sam: He’s busy!  
> Max: Busy doing you!
> 
> I would like to thank Great_Scott for inspiring this chapter. I guess this also changes my answer to their question so… I guess the answer is now… ;) (If you catch my drift.)


	7. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Max have a date night

“You know, I think we sort of did things out of order.” I say to Max as we watch T.V. Max turns to me. “Care to elaborate, Sam?” Max says as stretches his arms. “Well, little buddy. Most people actually date before moving in with each other.” I point out. Oh, huh. You’re right we di-” Max stopped talking suddenly. “Max?” I ask. Max begins to giggle, which turns into laughing, then full on hysterics. “What’s so funny?” I ask, staring to laugh too. “YOU PUT OUT BEFORE THE FIRST DATE!” Max cackled. I go a little red. “H-Hey! So did you!” I point out while holding back laughter. We stay like that, laughing at how we skipped a bunch of steps traditional to relationships.

 

Once we finally calmed down Max speaks up. “If you wanna get technical, that dance we had could be seen as a first date.” Max points out. He has a point. “Ok, so that means that I’m not THAT easy at the very least.” Max gives me a sneaky look. “Still pretty easy, Sweet Cheeks.” Max teases. I roll my eyes lovingly at him. “I still want to go on a “classic” date with you.” I state. “What would we do?” Max asks. Welp, he's got me there. Given that I was hopelessly pining over Max for so long, I’ve never actually been on a date before. “Honestly, I’m not sure, I never been on a date before you.” I confess. “Yeah and we never did _“other”_ relationships things before and it all turned out fine so far.” Max encourages. “You got me there, Max.” I have to admit I’m still unsure. “What should we do on our date?” I ask. “Hmm… Movies?” Max suggests. That sounds fine, but… “I wanna look at you.” I say without thinking. “I deeply humbled, Sam. So Movies are out? Dang it! I wanted to cut a hole into the bottom of the popcorn!” Max jokingly complaints. “Like you would actually need to resort to those tricks, Max.” We go back to thinking. “Bowling?” I spitball. “Were banned from half the bowling alleys in the city and on the watch list for the other half.” Max reminds me. Oh, right. I guess people don’t like it when you use guns, a lagomorph and trash to try and knock down the pins instead of the boring bowling balls the establishment supplies. “Shucks! I wanted you to wear the little cute bowling shirt!” I wine out. This is turning out to not be easy. 

 

“Dinner?” I try, after several more back and forths. Max seems to think on it. “That could work! But just dinner, seems a little short… maybe we go for a walk in a park? Beat up any chumps that might try and jump us?” That sounds great! “Sounds like a plan!”

 

“Max? Are you ready?” I call out to him. “You don’t have to yell, Sam. I’m literally right beside you.” Max says, surprising me. “Oh! Are you ready?” I ask again without yelling. I take a gander at what he wearing. He’s not wearing anything like usual with the exception of a little pink bowtie. It’s quite cute actually. “Is that a little bowtie?” I say as I feel it. “I wanted to dress up a little.” He states. I kiss him on the forehead. “It’s cute on you.” Max blushes a little. “You know what looks cute on you?” Max asks. “What?” I ask, intrigued as to Max’s fashion advice. Max then climbs up so he’s riding my shoulders. “Me!” Max exclaims while bending over to kiss me between the eyes. Ah. Shameless flirting. I should have known. “Well, if we’re ready, let’s be on our way!”

 

“Well, here we are, Sam and Max in a fancy restaurant looking mighty out of place like a bull in a pottery class.” I announce to Max who’s taking to his food like a tortoise to water, and by that I mean he seems to be drowning in it. “Enjoying whatever your eating-slash-doing?” I ask him. Max gets his face out of the dish. “Oh yes, Sam. I am enjoying this quite a lot. I love how this moisturizes and conditions my fur.” Max responds as he gestures to his meal before shoving his face back in. I rest my chin on my hands. I continue to watch Max do whatever it is that he's doing. I love this weirdo, look at him go! I take a glance around the restaurant. There’s an awful lot of snobby people giving us weird looks. They have no idea what they are missing.I look down at my plate. My meal was delicious despite being so expensive and so tiny in portions. Max might have a point to using his food as a beauty product, not that he needs it. I feel my neck and with it, the collar Max got me, I really like the thought behind it, though I did put it on in such a way that no one can see that I’m wearing it, heck I’m pretty sure that even Max doesn’t know that I’m wearing it at the moment. I over hear what sounds like some waiters arguing about which one's gonna try and kick us out. I guess Max and I should get rolling soon. I peep back at Max whos now licking off the food on his face. Maybe a few more minutes won’t hurt.

 

After paying for the food (and facial in Max’s case) we make our way to a park to have a stroll. “You know Sam, this would be the perfect time to hold hands.” Max mentions, hinting. I take his hand into mine. “You know, Max, I’m starting to think I should find something different to call you then, _ little buddy _ .” I say offhandedly. Max gives me a horrified look. “What?! No! I like it when you call me that!” Max whines out. “Are you sure? I mean, I don’t think we are  _ “just friends” _ anymore.” I explain. “I want  _ “little buddy” _ to be our always.” Max retorts. Aw! That's so adorable!

“That’s unbearably cute… little buddy.” Max makes a happy squee noise. 

  
  


“Oh, Sammy look! At this we gotta try some of these on!” Max said as he pulled me to a sunglasses booth. “Odd that they would have a little gift shop in the middle of a park.” I mention. Max rolled his eyes as he put on some heart shaped sunglasses. “Capitalism knows no bounds, Sam. That’s why I tell everyone to seize the means of production.” Max explains. “Max, hun, you have never once said that.” I call out as I put on pair of overly big, thick rimmed glasses. I hear a little gasp. I look down at Max who just put his heart sunglasses away. He staring at me with a look of shock. “What?” I ask. “You somehow got cuter?! How?!” Max exclaimed. “I just put on these-” “Say something nerdy and smart!” Max interrupted. I think for a moment, trying to think of something good. Oh! I got one! “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” I state. Max starts to cry, shoot! “I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry!” I apologize. “M-My boyfriend is such a  b-big c-cute nerd!” Max cried out. Max continues to sob as I try and calm him down.

  
  


“Are you feeling better?” I ask Max as he licks his ice cream. “Yeah… I don’t know what came over me?” Max said. We sit in silence for a little while longer. “Are you ready to go home?” I ask. “Yeah, I’m kinda tired.”  I stand up and before I can offer my hand I feel something on my- “Max do I have to pull a “chapter four” on you?” I ask. Max lets go of the cheek. “Ok! I’ll be good!” Max said as he took my hand. As we walked back to our abode, I smile to myself. Maybe we should do a date night every so often. “Hey, Max?” I start. “Hm?” Max hums in question. “Let’s do this again sometime.” I finish. “Let’s go go-karting next time!” Max suggests with excitement. “Sounds good to me, little buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Max: *Shoves face into food*  
> Sam: *In love* Superb you funky biped
> 
>  
> 
> I noticed that the last few chapter have been a little on the short side. So I made sure that this one was a bit longer so y’all had more to read!! Till next time!


	8. Will…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max ponders a question he has for Sam

It’s been awhile since the day Sam and I have gotten together and life's never been better! I now have all the affection and kisses I always dreamed of! Everything's perfect, well… almost perfect. Lately I’ve been… thinking about things. I realized that I want everyone to know that, without a doubt, Sam is mine. And that I’m his. I thought about this back when we slow danced together. I been waiting on it because… I don’t know. I guess I was worried about scaring him off, but if he hasn’t been scared off by now then I think it should be fine? Also I can’t help but wonder if I’m doing this too early. Then again, we know each other so well and for so long that getting hitched wouldn’t change anything. It’s so unlike me to be so… hesitant and nervous, GAH! I guess when it comes to Sam, I’m willing to take a second to think things over. I think of his face when I ask him, tears and laughter would come from him as he sweeps me into his arms. I want him to know that I’m here for the long haul, ever at his side. Wow, that was so cheesy! I look up at the store that I’ve been standing in front of for- I pull out my new phone and check the time- almost twenty minutes. Why is this so hard? I’m just buying a freakin’ ring! A stupid engagement ring. For Sam, my hopefully soon to be fiancé. Fiancé, Sam’s gonna be my fiancé, and then husband. Husband, Sam’s gonna be… my husband. My heart's now racing and I think I’m beginning to sweat a little. I imagine the big day in question, Sam would look so sharp in a tux, or pretty in a dress. Honestly, I don’t even know what I’m gonna wear to this thing, all of the guest we have to invite and the decorations. Okay, Max, stop. You haven’t even bought the stupid ring yet. However, my mind wanders back to the wedding fantasy like a traitor. I then drift to the…  _ “after wedding activities.”   _ My foot starts to tap at the thought. I then drift to the honeymoon and all the  _ “activities” _ that occur during that. My foot is now out of control with it’s tapping. I take a breath and face the entrance. I kick open the door rather then opening it in a normal way to display dominance. I surprised staff member gives me a weird look. “Sir? How may I-?” They start before I interrupt the obvious question with an observes answer. “I’m here to buy an engagement ring.” I announce. Alright then, let us do this! Now or never! No more looking back! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL:DR  
> Max: *Sweats Gayly*


	9. ...You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has no doubts about what he's doing

I walk to my destination with purpose. I’m on a mission, with a particular object in mind. A ring, to be specific, a engagement ring. To specify I’m not a “mission” from the commissioner, I’m on a mission for myself, or Max, if one wants to get technical. So, yeah, I’m getting a engagement ring so I can ask Max to marry me. I’m weirdly not panicking at the thought of asking him to  _ “be mine.”  _ Maybe because if we do this nothing will actually change between us. But I like to think it’s because… I feel strong with Max. Thus giving me the courage to take things to the next level. I also know that Max will say yes without question. After all, between the two of us, Max is the hopeless romantic at heart, as much as he denies it sometimes. I wonder if he would cry…? Not that I want him to cry, well… maybe tears of joy? He would probably kiss my face all over as he exclaims,  _ “YES!YES!YES!”  _ I could really go for some Max kisses right now. I shake my head, I can have Max stick his tongue down my throat later, right now I need to buy this ring. As I continue to stride I realize that I’m not sure if Max would like a rock on his ring or not. I stop and think for a moment, I could be cheeky and get him a literal pebble on his ring, or maybe I should get him an actual gem, he does like shiny things. I could just skip that and get him an engraving, but what would I write? I shake my head as if I just walked through the rain. I’m being stupid, it’s a engagement ring, not the wedding rings. So if I don’t get the perfect ring, it’s no big deal, besides, I’m pretty sure it could be an onion ring and Max would still love it because I proposed to him with it, not because I got him a ring. I resume my quest to obtain the engagement ring for Max, my boyfriend. Well, _ boyfriend _ might be a term that will be no longer in use pretty soon. He’s gonna be my husband pretty soon. Husband. Max is my husband. Middle school me would lose his mind if he found out about Max being my boyfriend, so just imagine if I told him he was my husband, cardiac arrest at such a young age. 

“Ah! Here I, Sam, am standing in front of the store that holds the engagement ring that I need to get so that I can ask my little buddy for his hand. in marriage that is.” I say to myself as I reach my destination. I step forward and open the door to the store. An employee notices my entrance. “Oh, Welcome! How may I help you?” They start. “I am in need of an engagement ring.” I say, with not a quiver in my voice. I’m ready. I can do this with no doubts. I will do this. For Max, the love of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR  
> Sam: *Gay confidence*
> 
> You all know were this is going ;)


	10. ...Marry me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Max ask each other a very important question

It was twilight in Manhattan, New York. And the freelance police duo of Sam and Max just wrapped up yet another harrowing capper. Some lowlife chump was going around and stealing children's teeth, and that’s all that has to be said about it, trust me, it’s not a pretty story. “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” Said Max as he juggled the lowlifes teeth in his hand like dice. “Maybe you should put those under your pillow tonight, Max.” Suggested Sam with one hand in his pocket. “Nah, these are half rotted and won’t get me anything other than a bill from the tooth fairy for trash pick up.” Waved of Max as he basketball dunked the disgusting teeth into a nearby trash bin. Sam looks off into the sunset. “Real pretty, huh Max?” Said Sam. “Yeah, you really are.” Flirted Max. Sam snorts. “Flirt. But you have to admit, it’s kinda perfect that we finished up at this time.” Sam states. Max gazes at the setting sun. “You know, that sunset can only dream of being as fiery and beautiful as you.” Sam flirts back. Max takes Sam's hand into his. They stay like that for a moment, just enjoying the warmth of the sunset and their hands joined together.

 

_ “Now would be the perfect time to…”  _ Thinks Max.  _ “...Pop the question.”  _ Ponders Sam. They both begin to think about the words they should say to the other.  _ “Thank you for being you?”  _ Max shakes his head slightly.  _ “No, that’s way to cheesy!”  _ Max thought.  _ “Maybe I should get on one knee? But I’m already too short for that!”  _ Max continues to ponder. Sam, meanwhile is having his own mental gymnastics going on.  _ “You make me feel compete like a DVD box set of a puzzle? No that doesn’t make a lot of sense.”  _ Sam thinks.  _ “Maybe I should just kiss him and ask? But we might not stop kissing. Also, I’m worried about being studdery.”  _  Sam continues to think this out.

 

_ “Maybe I should just…” _ Max thinks  _ “...Ask him out right with no big speech.”  _ Sam mentally finishes. “Hey-” They both say at the same time. They giggle at the fact that they both spoke up at the same time.  _ “Now or never.”  _ Max thinks to himself.  _ “I’m ready, let’s do this.” _ Sam psychs up. Max pulls out the box the ring is in from wherever he puts things. At the same time, Sam is also pulling his ring for Max out of his jacket. They let go of each others hands. 

 

“Will…” Max starts as he begins to turn to face Sam. Sam gets down on one knee. “You…” Sam continues. They fully look at each other and at the same time say, “...Merry me?” As they open the ring boxes up. A moment passes. All Sam and Max can hear is the beating of their hearts and breathing of the other. They both look at each other ring boxes. “Oh.” They both say, still in the middle of processing what just occurred right now. Max makes a noise which sound like a mashup of happy crying and laughing. Sam isn’t making any noise but he is crying visible tears. Max wraps his arms around Sam’s neck. “YES! YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!” He cries as he strikes kisses all over Sam’s face. Sam wraps his arms around Max. “Yes! Of course I’ll marry you, little buddy!” Sam exclaims as he spins himself around with Max close to him. They stay like this for an hour at least. Spinning, crying, kissing, hugging.

 

Once the both of them calmed down enough, Sam speaks up. “I can’t believe we proposed at the same time.” Sam said in happy disbelief. “What I can’t believe is that were now fiancés!” Max pointed out. Sam kisses Max’s cheek. “Should we put on…?” Sam offers the ring box. Max responds by offering his hand. Sam gently takes Max’s hand and slips his ring on his hand. Max cuddles into Sam. “I love you. I wish this moment could last forever.” Max states, completely content at that moment. “I love you too, little buddy.”  Sam says as Max takes his hand and slips his ring onto Sam’s digit. Sam looks at Max with complete adoration. “You wanna go home?” Sam asks. Max smiles. “Yeah, let’s go home and  _ celebrate _ … if you know what I mean.” He says with a wink. Sam picks Max up and puts him on his shoulders. “Then we have no time to waste!” Sam says as he begins to walk to the Desoto. Sam hears Max giggle and hears a click.  _ I wonder what he just did? _

_                                                                                                                                    ///////////////////// _

**_Meanwhile, with Sybil_ **

  
Sybil phone buzzes.  _ Huh? Who is texting me?  _ When she opens up her message app on her phone she finds a picture of Max with what appears to be a wedding ring. Right below the picture there is a message that reads:  _ Guess who just got engaged bitches! PS Can you be a brides/grooms maid?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR   
> Sam and Max: (At the same time) Marry me?   
> Sam and Max: :0
> 
> Guess whos got a wedding to write? ME! Anyways I hope y’all enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> TL;DR  
> Sam and Max: *Kiss and hold each other*  
> Sybil: Nice
> 
> Yep that’s right! A canon Sam and Max character that isn’t Sam and Max! My soul grows deeper with this new power! Anyhow, I hope you guys are ready for more Sam and Max gay time as much as I am!


End file.
